


Silence

by AnonymouslyDead



Category: Miraculous Ladybug, Miraculous: The Tale Of Ladybug And Cat Noir
Genre: Adrien and Kagami are gonnabond over shit parents, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Internalized Homophobia, Kagami’s mom sucks, Marinette is beautiful, Pining
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-03-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:21:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,720
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22357864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymouslyDead/pseuds/AnonymouslyDead
Summary: Kagami struggles with a crush on Marinette.
Relationships: Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug/Kagami Tsurugi
Comments: 26
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

Marinette is beautiful. Kagami can see it. Hell, she was sure that half the school can see it. Her dark hair in adorable pigtails, her kind blue eyes, her clumsiness that was somehow endearing on her, that eager willingness to help even when her own burdens weighed heavily on her shoulders…

It all formed the beautiful Marinette. Kagami both respected and greatly admired. Perhaps, a little too much if Kagami was being honest with herself. 

Could she really help it though? Marinette was so earnest and kind but also clever and cunning. Overall, a wonderful friend. It was natural for her to be drawn towards Marinette. She was her first friend after all. 

But, the more time Kagami stayed around Marinette the more that feeling drawing her to Marinette seemed to morph her perceptions. At first, Marinette’s friendship meant everything to her. Whenever Marinette would send a soft smile her way and call her her friend, it made her heart soar. 

Now whenever Marinette did the same, it drew out an empty pang in her heart, one that Kagami was all too familiar with. 

It’s pining, Kagami knew. The realization inspired a sort of comfort. Of course, it’d be Marinette to steal her heart. It would almost be a shame for it to be anyone else. 

But, it was also a heavy weight to bear. What exactly should she do with this feeling? Kagami wasn’t one to back down when she wanted something...but did she have what it took to get what she wanted? Romance wasn’t exactly her forte and neither was the delicate art of social interactions. 

Could she even take her shot even if she was? What would Marinette think? What would her friends think? What would her mother think when she found out? 

She could lose everything so easily. Marinette could regret her; she did love Adrien as clearly as day. That would surely hurt, but Kagami could deal with that. It wouldn’t be the first time. 

But, she could choose to exit from Kagami’s life altogether. Then, she could tell Adrien, and that could take Adrien from her as well. It was an irrational thought; Marinette was much to sweet, but Kagami couldn’t be sure until she tried. 

But then, the real hurt would come when her mother could find out. Her mother would probably freak out and whisk her straight to the next flight home, swearing to keep an even closer eye on Kagami this time. Kagami wouldn’t put it past her. Her mother didn’t mind ripping at Kagami’s life if it meant fixing Kagami to her standards. 

There were too many risks to be made by opening her mouth like a game where your loss was looming with every potential move could make. So, Kagami swallowed her feelings and carried on, waiting for her eventual crushing defeat. 

And, that defeat came everyday. It was in the soft smile Marinette gave her. The cheerful support she gave at her fencing matches. The slight touches- a pat on the back, a touch of their hands, gentle reassurance through a hand on her shoulder. All expertly given easily in a way that made Kagami’s heart stutter. Words wanted to pour from Kagami’s mouth at it, but her throat felt as if it was constricting under the weight of her anxiety. So, all she could do was stare in awe. 

Marinette was beautiful in every way. Kagami wanted to tell her as much, desperately so, but Kagami couldn’t. Probably never would be able to. And, that thought was more crushing than any defeat she’d ever suffered. 


	2. Chapter 2

Fencing practice is swift and brutal. Kagami earned herself a quick win in her first sparring match, spurred by the moment, but the next match is an embarrassment. She left herself open, practically inviting the point of Adrien’s saber to tap her chest. Then, it happened again and again. The losses only add to the frustrating whirlwind of emotions plaguing her mind.

Adrien paused, ripping off his helmet. His face looked concerned. For a second, Kagami’s heart stopped, fearing that he had somehow found out her troubles. It was an irrational fear, but she had seen less probable outcomes come true like her becoming a superhero with the aid of a magical dragon.

“Are you okay? You seem off today.” is all Adrien asked. Kagami doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed. 

“I am fine.” Kagami said, the lie rolling off of her tongue easily. She doesn’t know whether it is believable, but it settled Adrien enough to continue practice. 

The rest of practice went by quick enough. Kagami stuffed her emotions away and focused more on her sparring opponents. The victories came much easier, ripping through opponent defenses like butter and claiming win after win. It made Kagami feel a little better, more numb with a comfortable exhaustion. 

Fencing practice disbanded and their fencing team milled off in droves. Adrien found her side with an easy smile before the two followed the others out to the front of the school. 

“Would you maybe want to come over today?” Adrien tentatively asked. Kagami almost had to laugh at the question.

“You know my mother wouldn’t approve. She’ll be by in a few minutes to take me home.” Kagami said instead perhaps a bit bitterly. She would love to have the option to go off and hang out with Adrien, but her mother had a strict hold on her schedule. She couldn’t even complain. She knew that Gabriel was the same way. Must be how they get along so well.

“That’s not what I asked. Do you want to?” Adrien asked, a gleam of mischief in his eyes almost like a sneaky cat’s. 

Kagami thought it over for a moment before nodding. Thankfully, she did right as her mother’s limo pulled up the school’s entrance. Adrien took the lead in approaching her mother, offering a charismatic smile worthy of one of his fragrance ads to quell the frowning look of confusion on her face. But then, Adrien poured out lies like water, nudged Kagami to nod along, and that frown was quelled into a light smile easily. 

Two hours is what her mother offered.Plenty of time to start the fictional assignment Adrien had cooked up. Kagami wondered how Adrien learned to do that, to lie like it was second nature. Must be from experience. 

However, Kagami knew it wasn’t merely Adrien’s doing. When she gets home, Kagami will have to suffer through pointed questions about Adrien, twisting Kagami’s feelings into a caricature of what they are. Her mother did admire the Agrestes. She knew her mother would love for her to get more involved. 

To her mother’s credit, Adrien was beautiful. Kagami had once known that in her heart. He was clearly handsome, sure, but he was also compassionate and caring. All around a lovely person. However, the torch she held for him had faded over time after hearing of his own crush for another girl. 

It would be so much easier if it had never gone out. If Adrien had only liked her back. If only Marinette hadn’t walked into her life.

No! It was no good thinking like that.

“Are you sure you’re ok?” Adrien asked, his model’s smile fell away to be replaced by a concerned look. Something more real and genuine. She felt a warm fondness at the look despite herself, realizing it had long replaced the excited giddy feeling she once felt whenever Adrien would notice her so sincerely. 

Comradity, she decided. 

“Kagami? I know something is bothering you. Is it your mother again?” Adrien asked. 

“No, it’s just feelings.” Kagami said easily enough.

“What’s wrong?’ Adrien asked. Kagami knew it was coming; Adrien was too caring to leave a friend’s issues unaddressed. Still, the issue at hand shocked her into silence while her thoughts screamed in her head. 

“You don’t have to tell me.” Adrien added softly, gently but his expression didn’t change. The tone made her stomach twist in guilt. How could she leave her friend in such a state without an answer?

“I...have feelings for someone.” The words came slowly to her mouth, though it felt as if she had to force them through her tightening throat, 

“Really? That’s great. Who is it?” Adrien asked, curiosity clear across his face. Kagami’s guts twisted tightly in anxiousness, keeping her silent. Adrien frowned.

“...Ok. Did something happen then? Should I talk to him for you?’ Adrien offered. Kagami quickly shook her head, ignoring the clear implication of him., 

“No, I haven’t told them. I don’t think my feelings will be reciprocated is all.” 

‘Why not? Kagami, you’re awesome!” Adrien smiled at her reassuringly. ‘I bet they like you just as much as you do.” 

Kagami didn’t respond, but the weight of her emotions lifted a bit, making the whole ordeal just a little more bearable. She almost wanted to thank him. But at that point, Adrien’s limo pulled up. Adrien walked up, spat a few more lies to his bodyguard, and then gestured for Kagami to follow him in. Kagami complied. 

Adrien’s house is as cold and lonely as she remembered. Stylish minimalism only exaggerated how empty the house was once Natalie sent them to Adrien’s room with a tired sigh. No wonder Adrien was so eager to get her here.

Adrien’s room is better at least. It was more fitting to his personality. Large and over the top but overall normal for a teenage boy with secrets hidden under the surface. Like the stinky cheese stash in one of his cupboards or the Ladybug merchandise hidden in plain sight, away from Gabriel’s judging glances. 

Kagami watched Adrien walk across his room to the busy bookshelf by his desk. Neat rows of manga and graphic novels lined the shelves, but Adrien pulled a brightly colored magazine from the tops of the books. He walked back to Kagami, flipping through the magazine’s glossy pages. 

‘Here.” He handed the magazine to Kagami. Kagami took it skeptically. 

“Twenty Ways To Get The Man of Your Dreams.” Kagami read. It felt as if it had slapped her across the face. She looked at Adrien with an eyebrow raised. 

‘I thought that might help! It certainly helped me.” Adrien answered.

“It’s from a preteen magazine.” Kagami pointed out.

“It’s also all i’ve got.” Adrien pointed at her with a silly smile. Kagami let out an amused huff. ‘Unless you want to try the Internet. I...actually know a really good guide.” Adrien said, growing visibly embarrassed. Kagami didn’t have any room to judge though. This certainly wasn’t her expertise. 

‘No, thank you. I appreciate the gesture, but it should be fine.” She said, tucking the magazine out of sight in her bookbag. “Now, we should get started on our homework.”

That mischievous look came back to his eyes. ‘Of course, we should.” He walked and flipped a switch on his wall. A screen swung out of the wall. “Up for an Ultimate Mecha Strike III marathon?”

“You’re on.”

They wind up playing the whole time with the volume muted so as not to get caught. Kagami laughed quietly and elbowed Adrien as they ripped through each other’s mechas. It felt nice to let loose for the first time in a long while. She knew she would have to compose herself before her mother came to get her, but for now, this was enough. 


	3. Chapter 3

Kagami kept the magazine hidden away in her bag. The next day at school, she tucked it into her locker. Occasionally, she looked over the glossy article, contemplating using it.

Was it worth it to try? Was it even fair to Marinette to try any of this on her? The thought of it unsettled Kagami a bit. What if Marinette was disgusted or horrified by her? 

Kagami shook her head, knowing that was unfounded. It will be fine no matter what happened. Marinette was sweet and understanding after all. 

At least, that’s the thought she held on to. She at least hoped she wouldn’t look too foolish. 

One of the tips had suggested a makeover. The reasoning was decent enough-to build confidence and paper more attractive. The tip was too vague though. Kagami had no idea what that entitled. A new outfit? More makeup? A new hairstyle? 

Kagami couldn’t get away with the last two nor did she really want to. She liked her appearance well enough. The idea of radically altering it for shallow attention didn’t sit well. So, she settled for a new outfit. 

Kagami worried the soft red fabric of her dress under her fingers. The dress itself was a simple a line dress that reached her knees. The bottom swirled around her in chaotic waves as she walked. 

It reminded her of bounding around as a superhero. That freeing feeling the wind whip you around. The power that came with being so striking. The confidence that came with the mask. 

God knows she could use some now, because the other tips made her cringe. 

“Draw attention to your lips.” was first on the list. Kagami had a tub of chapstick for this in her purse, but the thought of actually doing it felt ridiculous. Still, Kagami wasn’t about to argue. The writer was probably more experienced than she was. 

So whenever Marinette came into view, she pulled out the tub and swiped it on her lips. The taste of artificial cherry isn’t unpleasant, and it served as a distraction enough for Kagami to not just focus on Marinette as she walked closer. 

...Until she came closer. Marinette had an excited smile on her face, her blue eyes lit up with interest as she chatted with Aliya. For a moment, Kagami feared that she’d made a mistake, that she’d have to do this in front of Aliya of all people. But much to her luck, Aliya turned away at the last moment. Kagami sighed. 

“Hi Kagami!” Marinette greeted before Kagami could recover. Marinette’s pretty blue eyes were lit up with joy, and her smile turned megawatt. Kagami swallowed, suddenly forgetting how to speak. 

“Is that a new dress?”

“Oh.” Kagami looked down as if she had forgotten her own outfit. “Yes. Yes, it is. I thought I would try something new.” 

“Well, I like it! It really softens up your look!” 

“Soften?” Kagami frowned. 

“Oh, you know. Your usual look is kinda punk schoolgirl. You know, all spikes and leather and argh.” Marinette made her hands as she exaggerated the noise. “The dress makes you look softer than that.” 

“...I don’t wear that kind of stuff though.” Kagami continued to frown, but Marinette didn’t seem to notice. She looked off with a happy but distant smile on her face. “Are you ok?” 

Marinette blinked and then shook her head. “Yeah, sorry. I’m just distracted. Red is totally your color.” Marinette held up an ok sign. 

“Oh. Thank you. I really like red.” Kagami supplied helpfully. She felt a need to smack her forehead. 

“Oh, it’s a nice color! Super vibrant and pretty!” Marinette rambled in a high pitched tone. She edged a step away from Kagami, clearly looking to leave. Kagami couldn’t help the frown that found itself on her lips; did Marinette catch on? Was she that disgusted? 

Marinette’s happy demeanor quickly changed to concern. “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to run. I just really need to get to the art room…right now for this project I’m working on. I’ll talk to you later. Ok, Kagami?” 

“Sure.” Kagami agreed. Marinette sighed in relief before thanking her and walking off. It’s as Marinette is walking off that Kagami realized what she had forgotten. 

“Hey. Wait, Marinette!” Kagami called out but not loud enough to combat the noise around her. Marinette disappeared around the corner before she could talk any further. Kagami let out a groan. 

Well, that did nothing. It was probably for the best. A cheesy pickup line probably wouldn’t have helped anyway. Kagami slumped her shoulders, turning back to her locker. She shoved the magazine back into her locker and took out the books she’d need for her first classes. 

She wondered what Marinette was up to to be so excited. Was it Adrien? 

The thought dampened Kagami’s already low mood. She might have to try something else. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk if that makes sense but I haven’t updated in a hot minute so here’s a thing

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Comment what you think and hit Kudos if you liked it!


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